A Few Words to Perez

... or inspired by my rage for him, whichever seems most applicable to our readers.

The first, and major point, is that the internet is not a breeding ground for Dante's eighth ring of hell without people like you. You are not the first source; I've easily figured out that you get everything from TMZ - who, by the by, are considerably less biased towards reporting than you are. This recent starlet's demise has served as what for you? A place to sound like you have a soul?

You're an overzealous bastard, sir. Leave the girl and her family alone. You only pick what you want to report on from your source, and then spin it your own way for your own purposes - you're already pointing fingers at suspects, are you a police officer? I didn't think so. No one needs your opinion of what her mother must have been thinking/feeling at the time. You're not special. You're just a media outlet with a brand.

Second, and this frustrates me to no end - it's very evident who you do, and do not, like within the field that you report in. I can understand that. There is always bias to reporting, but as someone with such a following, you must try to at least curb your own stupid agendas from time to time.

If I have to list it all out, I will - but not here. Let me just say this; I think the Twilight films are absolute garbage (metaphor for the virtues of chastity my ASS) but I'm sure Kristen Stewart's demeanor wasn't helped any by your malicious behaviour. How is anyone supposed to be happy with themselves in such a vile industry when there are hatemongers like yourself in existence? Please don't tell me I'm correct in assuming that all the name-calling and insults are directly derived from your own Twi-hard fangirl crush on Robert Pattinson, because that's truly disgusting.

You're a 30-something Cuban man with a penchant for Manic Panic. If that tactic works for you, and Rpatz takes you out for a nice steak dinner and then calls you back later, you let me know. It sure as hell doesn't seem like it works for the people it's best suited for (females of the age to attend junior high, specifically) so I wonder about your own motives with it. But hey. If trashing the shit out of the girl that everyone is sure he's with actually gets you a date, I'll buy that and ask to try myself. Because then I'll have seen everything. Leave the lunchroom behaviour where it belongs - at least 16 years ago in your case.

You could ask why I don't just stop reading the site.

... but really, where else would I find such crudely defaced photos of stars you don't like?

Honestly, reading your poor excuse for a gossip blog has actually made me LIKE Miley Cyrus and Kristen Stewart... has made me like Gaga less, because you two are each other's pets... and I remain staunchly opposed to Lily Allen. You can have her.

It's also made me actually loathe and DETEST Adam Lambert, whereas when he was simply competing on AI, I just thought he was terribly cheesy and not a very good singer. But you blow up the things that you feel MUST be blown up about, in such a bravado way, that I can no longer even stomach photos of the Glambert, as you call him.

I've got a place for you, Perez Hilton.

When Snoop Dogg has finished lopping off Kanye's head in the FKO ring, you're going up against that which you seem to despise the most. You're going up against Kristen Stewart, because I somehow have a feeling she can kick your ass.

That's all I have to say about that. As you were.

1 comment:

  1. I must give you a hearty handshake and slap on the back when next I see you for this, madam. It put a smile on my face when I needed it.

    Except for the "liking Miley Cyrus" bit...that shit don't fly.