Introduction to the Department

We'll begin this by explaining, obviously, what exactly the department does, and stands for.

I am Ms. V; chairwoman of operations here. Also on this team we have Mr. Collins, whom we view as an independent contractor of sorts. He comes and goes as he pleases, but often has more useful information and insight to provide than I do. From time to time you may notice a male counterpart to my Ms. V; he's also on an independent contractor basis. It's most likely that I will be doing 75% of these posts, with Mr. Collins and Mr. V sharing the remaining 25%.

The ridiculous department, in its infancy, is the very basis of all things that society today finds entertaining. This includes, but is most certainly not limited to; politics, current news coverage, popular icons and their associated variety of pop culture. Anything that, when told to myself or Mr. Collins, renders us speechless or simply cannot be fathomed due to the sheer stupidity of its nature, is sent directly to the ridiculous department for processing, handling, and analytics.

We're just trying to understand what the fuck is wrong with the world today, but we're not interested in tackling the issues that everyone else is. There are already so many people involved in serious issues - celebrities fueling money into third-world rescue efforts (go Angelina!), politicians and hostile war, and Perez Hilton single-handedly thrusting the gay community at the world (not that there's anything wrong with that). We're not here to add to agendas you've already discussed.

Our approach is a little more homegrown.

Money isn't the root of all evil. Stupidity is.

Our philosophy here is that to save the world, we need to weed out stupidity. In order to do this, it's first necessary to inform the public of what we view as stupid or ignorant (I know, because you should all care what we think, right? Well, you all care what Perez thinks... we all start somewhere.) and then discuss ways in which we can all delight in the lesson we learn from resolving the issue.

... because nobody likes to learn lessons without being entertained. I will get into the topic of why celebrities should volunteer their time at educational institutes to teach difficult but important classes later - it stems from this theory.

The point is, we're going to try to make you laugh with material we're given by everyone else. Then, we're going to try to make you laugh with our take on how to fix the stupid situation. Eventually, we kind of want to take this plot on the road and film it. So you'll help us, right? Everybody just wants a good laugh these days. We're gonna try to deliver. You can tell us when we win, and when we fail.

In the end, we're all gonna win - the losers are the poor fools fueling our news. So let's get to it - we have a stack of gold just waiting to be ranted about.