PunkMatch.com

"Well, sure... punks need love too. But, only punk-love."
"That's like, the filthiest kind."

(... and in response to "420 Dating"...)

"Honey, there's a dating website dedicated purely to stoners - 420 Dating."
"FUCK YEAH."
"Don't you dare go to it. I will know."

Wil Wheaton, Discuss

miss vee says:
oh, that's a common defence
it's either innocent or purposeful but entirely useless in either sense.
if she was crazy, then she's telling you that because she thinks it has some bearing on how the rest of your life is going to play out.
mr. tim says:
exactly
miss vee says:
if she was one of those sweet naive things it may have actualy been a rare case of guilt
mr. tim says:
"look at how good im doing now, is there an inkling of wanting me back?" syndrome
miss vee says:
wherein she thinks telling you and you not caring will make her feel better about the breakup. but yes, she sounded crazy - so that's just crazy talk for "HAR HAR I AM SHLUT I PROLLY DON'T KNOW HIS MIDDLE NAME OR NOTHING"
mr. tim says:
hahahaha
miss vee says:
"BUT LOOKIT HOW GOOD I AM AT IT, I DON'T NEED YOU"
and then your camp is all like
"bitch stfu. you were cut from the cast. if you keep appearing on set, you will be arrested."
mr. tim says:
lmao
perfection.
miss vee says:
well, i have always viewed my life as the v show
and thereby, all other people are simply cast as characters in the world that is your life.
mr. tim says:
"excuse me, but the producer wants to have a word." response - " :O "
miss vee says:
and nobody remembers the redshirts.
mr. tim says:
lol im actually wearing a red plaid shirt at the moment
miss vee says:
well, yes, but you're no ensign tim. i'm sure you won't be eaten by space monsters or shot by some drakoriannn overlord anytime soon while on mission. if that's how you're supposed to end, sir, i am flabbergasted.
mr. tim says:
clearly im a geordi la forge. eyesight fixed and all.
miss vee says:
you're skipping generations man.
can't do that.
continuity errors, different writers, different pop cultural eras.
different propagandic agendas.
different presidents, basically.
mr. tim says:
clearly, but be that as it may... that was MY show during my impressionable years
miss vee says:
stay within the presidents.
technically it was my generation too
but i really had no use for that kind of thing at the age i was. my sister was, and look what the fuck happened to her.
mr. tim says:
Sargaziaan Blood Flu im guesssing
miss vee says:
yes, sounds like a job for leeches
which she can't handle because she was also of the stand by me generation.
fuck you, wil wheaton. you fucked up my sister's life.
mr. tim says:
definitely
lol that totally cracks me up
"Fuck you, Wil Wheaton."
dont be such an Ensign.

Fatties and Skinnies

taken from queen mario.

I don't really have many actual, non-offensive words for this.

Except that Barbara Walters has the cajones of a cagefighter.

Don't fuck with butter or Paula Deen, lady.

I don't care how many celebrities you've made cry, or how many bionic implants you have keeping you alive and looking as much (much opposite to say, Joan Rivers.)

Butter is love and you are ruining everything.

I'm not even going to explain myself any further. I'm really not.

I just wanna see Walters and Deen in a butter-wrestling match now.

Corporate Responsibility

I would notsay that social importance is just as important as economic performance, but it is an important factor. We are not something separate - just a body of people founded by some shareholders, operated in their behalf. We are part of the structure of thetown we work in andthe lives of the people we employ and of the country we live in and I think it is ridiculous to pretend otherwise.

- Sir Anthony Pilkington, Chairman, the Pilkington Group (quoted in Bloom, 1994)

Discuss.

Ms. V: I had this one client at the salon once, huge brick shithouse of a shaggy man with a full beard. He came in looking like a country preacher and left looking like a cop, with a high-and-tight and a clean shave. I told him while cutting his hair that I liked David Bowie, and he asked me if it was because he was a homosexual.

Mr. Tim: Alright...

Ms. V: I have some questions about this scenario. Firstly, was he a preacher or a cop?

Restaurant City vs. Aces High; or, waiting for the Bell Tech

"Ewww, the toilets are dirty again!"
"Yes, the afterburners are working quite nicely!"

... gamer love.

Things I Have Learned From Other Drivers

Blinkers? Don't need em.
Merge into traffic at whatever speed you feel like.
Construction closures are no reason to drive slower, or more courteously.

Let me tell you a story about a pickup truck I had the pleasure of sharing the road with this afternoon. This truck did the following while I was watching it:
Cut off a number of drivers while navigating the world's smallest basket-weave onramp.
Proceed to speed and dodge your way down the express lanes, in light Sunday afternoon traffic mid-city, and nearly missing the ramp to the highway you needed to be on, only missing the ramp's leading edge by half a meter after swerving across 2.5 lanes of traffic, narrowly missng 4 cars.
Cut across two lanes of traffic to the left because the lane he was in ends, only to swerve back across traffic to get to your exit 2km away. Without signaling.
Change lanes through an intersection at the top of a very steep hill doing 90 in a 60.
Drift between lanes at your own whimsy on city streets.

People, learn to drive.