Things I Have Learned From Other Drivers

Blinkers? Don't need em.
Merge into traffic at whatever speed you feel like.
Construction closures are no reason to drive slower, or more courteously.

Let me tell you a story about a pickup truck I had the pleasure of sharing the road with this afternoon. This truck did the following while I was watching it:
Cut off a number of drivers while navigating the world's smallest basket-weave onramp.
Proceed to speed and dodge your way down the express lanes, in light Sunday afternoon traffic mid-city, and nearly missing the ramp to the highway you needed to be on, only missing the ramp's leading edge by half a meter after swerving across 2.5 lanes of traffic, narrowly missng 4 cars.
Cut across two lanes of traffic to the left because the lane he was in ends, only to swerve back across traffic to get to your exit 2km away. Without signaling.
Change lanes through an intersection at the top of a very steep hill doing 90 in a 60.
Drift between lanes at your own whimsy on city streets.

People, learn to drive.

$10 List

Josh Brolin.

We just watched The Goonies.

That is all.

In Regards to the Superintendant

I'll firstly tell you that it is unfortunate that we put this project together so late in my time in this building. I have spent five years here, with many undocumented adventures to behold, but this is not the venue for them at large.

But to put it plainly, where I once detested my 7 other neighboring tenants in this old brick shithole I live in, after all this time I have come to love them most dearly for their entertainment purposes.

Exhibit A; my superintendant, who has not aged a day since I met her, but clearly aged for many centuries prior to my moving in here in 2004.

Now I'm sure this little tidbit will make all that much more sense:

"Why don't you go ask Yvonne? I'm sure she's smoking the real good shit over there."
"Honey, when Yvonne was our age, opium was the hot ticket for intoxication."
"So you're telling me she's over there smoking the really good shit?"
"Yes, while splayed out on her floral sofa with its plastic covering, surrounded by all those Royal Doultons and other knicknacks, she likely has it set up as an opium den."

...

"How can a woman that old not appreciate WWII big band swing music?"
"It was noise to her. That's what the whippersnappers who peed in her begonias were listening to at the time."

Sunday Afternoon in the Company of Warriors 2

"That's where the rich people sit... doctors, lawyers, politicians..."
"... Pimps, kingpins, mobsters... these are the people I view as successful."

Each of us is, after all, a very different kind of warrior than our peers.

(Injoke to Mr. Collins: one Evershine for Zirc, Beraka, and Okden getting hammered around a campfire.)

Insults

"You can't spell for crap! I've seen alphabet soup poured from a blender do less damage to the English language than you!"

Best Book-on-Tape Ever

Ultimately, this lineup in a book-on-tape format would be the best way to get me more familiarized with the Bible.

We'll be updating this constantly with new additions.

Old Testament
Genesis - as read by Morgan Freeman
Exodus - as read by Patrick Stewart
Leviticus - as read by Mona Marshall (as Sheila Broflovski)
Numbers - as read by Judd Hirsch
Deuteronomy
Joshua
Judges
Ruth
1 Samuel
2 Samuel
1 Kings
2 Kings
1 Chronicles
2 Chronicles
Ezra
Nehemiah
Esther
Job - as read by Sean Connery
Psalms - as read by Sir. John Cleese
Proverbs - as read by Ben Kingsley
Ecclesiastes (Qoheleth)
Canticles (Song of Solomon) - as read by Phyllis Diller
Isaiah
Jeremiah
Lamentations - as read by Woody Allen
Ezekiel - as read by Samuel L. Jackson
Daniel
Hosea
Joel
Amos
Obadiah
Jonah
Micah
Nahum
Habakkuk
Zephaniah
Haggai
Zechariah
Malachi

New Testament
Matthew - as read by Kanye West
Mark
Luke
John
Acts - as read by Jay Ingram (Daily Planet)
Romans
1 Corinthians - as read by Jeremy Piven
2 Corinthians - as read by Giovanni Ribisi
Galatians
Ephesians
Philippians
Colossians
1 Thessalonians
2 Thessalonians
1 Timothy - as read by Mandy Moore
2 Timothy - as read by Natalie Portman
Titus - as read by Serj Tankian (System of a Down)
Philemon
Hebrews
James
1 Peter
2 Peter
1 John
2 John - as read by Adam West
3 John
Jude
Revelation - as read by James Earl Jones